Introduction
We all face moments when life feels overwhelming... stressful deadlines, unexpected news, conflicts with loved ones. In those moments, emotions can run high, and it’s easy to react impulsively. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) teaches practical tools for managing these situations, and one of the most valuable sets of skills it offers is distress tolerance.
This post explores what distress tolerance means, why it matters, and some of the most effective DBT strategies for staying calm and in control during difficult times.
What Is Distress Tolerance?
Distress tolerance is the ability to endure emotional discomfort without resorting to unhelpful or harmful behaviours. In DBT, these skills are designed to help you:
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Stay grounded during moments of intense emotion
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Avoid actions you might regret later
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Cope effectively until the emotional wave passes
Why Distress Tolerance Matters
When the body’s stress response kicks in, it can be harder to think clearly and make balanced decisions. Without effective coping tools, many people default to patterns like withdrawing, lashing out, or engaging in risky behaviours.
By developing distress tolerance skills, you can:
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Respond thoughtfully instead of reacting on impulse
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Protect relationships in tense situations
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Feel more in control of your emotions
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Build confidence in your ability to handle challenges
Core DBT Distress Tolerance Skills
1. TIPP Skills
Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, Paired muscle relaxation - quick techniques for calming your body’s physical stress response.
2. Self-Soothing
Using your senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell) to create a calming environment and ground yourself in the present moment.
3. Distraction with Purpose
Engaging in healthy activities to shift your attention away from distressing thoughts until the intensity of the emotion decreases.
4. Pros and Cons
Taking a moment to weigh the benefits and drawbacks of acting on an urge versus using a coping skill.
5. Radical Acceptance
Acknowledging reality, even when it’s uncomfortable, to reduce the added suffering that comes from resisting what is.
How to Practice These Skills
Like any skill, distress tolerance improves with regular practice. Consider:
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Trying one technique during a low-stress moment to become familiar with it
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Keeping a “skills toolkit” list handy for times of crisis
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Reflecting on which strategies are most effective for you
When to Seek Support
Distress tolerance skills are powerful tools, but they are not a substitute for professional help when emotional struggles are persistent or overwhelming. Many therapists incorporate DBT skills into treatment, and practicing with guidance can make it easier to use these tools effectively when you need them most.
Final Thoughts
Distress tolerance is about giving yourself options in the face of emotional pain. By learning and practicing DBT skills, you can navigate intense emotions more effectively, respond in ways that align with your values, and feel more in control during life’s challenges.
