The holiday season often brings joyful moments, connection, and opportunities to slow down. It can also bring pressure, expectations, financial stress, social commitments, and emotional exhaustion.
If you struggle with holiday anxiety, you are not alone. The weeks leading up to the holidays can stir up family dynamics, sensory overload, perfectionism, financial fears, and worries about how you will juggle everything. The good news is that there are proven tools from CBT, mindfulness, and DBT that can help you feel more grounded and supported during this time.
At Tiny Therapy Collective, we help adults across Ontario manage anxiety, stress, and emotional overwhelm. You deserve to approach the holidays with clarity and calm rather than dread or pressure.
Why Anxiety Increases Before the Holidays
Even people who enjoy the holidays may feel anxious ahead of time. This is because:
1. Pressure and Expectations Build Early
You may feel pressure to buy gifts, host gatherings, participate in traditions, or take on extra responsibilities. Anxiety often shows up when you feel like you have to meet expectations that are hard to reach.
2. Your Schedule Gets Busier
More events. More errands. More decisions. A full schedule can quickly overwhelm your nervous system.
3. Family or Relationship Stress Resurfaces
Old patterns, unresolved conflict, or emotional tension can intensify anxiety leading up to family gatherings or conversations.
4. Financial Stress Increases
This is one of the biggest holiday stressors. Trying to manage spending, gifting, or travel can heighten worry.
5. The Change in Routine Impacts Your Body
Sleep, eating habits, movement, and downtime often shift in December. Even small changes can affect your emotional regulation and increase anxiety.
Understanding why your anxiety increases is the first step in managing it with more compassion and clarity.
CBT Strategies to Manage Holiday Anxiety
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) focuses on understanding the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. Here are some CBT tools you can use in the weeks leading up to the holidays.
1. Identify Your Thinking Traps
Holiday anxiety often comes from unhelpful thought patterns such as:
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“I have to make everyone happy.”
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“If I say no, people will be upset with me.”
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“Everything has to go perfectly.”
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“I cannot handle all of this.”
These thoughts feel true in the moment, but they are often rooted in fear, pressure, or past experiences.
Ask yourself:
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What is the thought I am having right now?
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Is this thought factual or a worry-based prediction?
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What evidence supports or contradicts it?
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Is there a more balanced or compassionate way to phrase this?
Reframing thoughts does not mean denying your feelings. It means giving yourself permission to see the full picture.
2. Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps
Overwhelm feeds anxiety. When something feels too big or too vague, your brain assumes danger.
Break holiday responsibilities into small, manageable steps:
Instead of “prepare holiday dinner,” try:
• Make a menu
• Buy ingredients
• Prep vegetables
• Set the table
Your brain calms when it sees a clear plan instead of a mountain of pressure.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
Perfectionism is a common source of holiday stress. If you find yourself thinking, “Everything has to be perfect,” pause and remind yourself:
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People remember connection, not perfection
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You are allowed to rest
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The holidays do not need to look a certain way
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You can choose what matters most to you
Choosing what is important protects your emotional energy.
Mindfulness Tools to Stay Grounded
Mindfulness helps you slow down, reconnect with your body, and reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety. You do not need long meditation sessions. Even 30 seconds can help.
1. Box Breathing
Try this simple breathing pattern:
• Inhale for 4
• Hold for 4
• Exhale for 4
• Hold for 4
Repeat 4 times.
This helps regulate your nervous system and decrease the intensity of anxious thoughts.
2. Sensory Grounding
Use your senses to anchor yourself in the moment:
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Notice what you see
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Notice what you hear
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Notice what you feel
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Notice what you smell
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Notice what you taste
This is especially helpful during busy shopping days, loud gatherings, or stressful conversations.
3. Mindful Pauses
Before saying yes to a request or committing to something:
• Pause
• Breathe
• Ask: “Do I have the energy for this?”
• Make a choice based on your needs, not pressure
Mindful pauses create space for healthier boundaries.
DBT Skills for Managing Pre-Holiday Stress
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is especially helpful for managing emotional intensity, anxiety, and interpersonal stress during the holidays.
1. Use the STOP Skill When Anxiety Spikes
S: Stop what you are doing
T: Take a breath
O: Observe what is happening inside and around you
P: Proceed with intention
STOP helps interrupt emotional spirals before they escalate.
2. Try the TIP Skill for High-Intensity Anxiety
TIP is a fast-acting DBT strategy:
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Tip the temperature of your face (cool water or ice pack on cheeks)
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Intense exercise (20–60 seconds of movement)
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Paced breathing
TIP helps calm your body quickly when anxiety feels physically overwhelming.
3. Use DEAR MAN for Holiday Conversations
If you are anxious about setting boundaries, DEAR MAN can help you communicate clearly.
D: Describe
E: Express
A: Assert
R: Reinforce
M: Mindful
A: Appear confident
N: Negotiate
This skill helps reduce conflict and increase confidence during holiday conversations.
Everyday Supports for Holiday Anxiety
Here are simple practices to use throughout December:
• Build in rest before and after social events
• Protect your sleep routine as much as possible
• Eat regularly to support your nervous system
• Stay hydrated when you feel tense or overstimulated
• Limit caffeine if anxiety increases
• Make time for movement or stretching
• Create moments of quiet between responsibilities
• Reach out to someone you trust when emotions feel heavy
Small habits often make the biggest difference.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can support you in understanding and managing your anxiety before it becomes overwhelming. It can help you:
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Identify triggers
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Build coping skills
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Navigate family stress
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Set healthy boundaries
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Manage perfectionism
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Reduce physical anxiety symptoms
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Strengthen emotional regulation
Many people feel relief simply from having a steadier, supportive place to process what the holidays bring up.
Taking the Next Step
The holiday season can feel heavy, busy, or overwhelming, but you do not have to navigate it alone. With support, skills, and grounding practices, you can approach the holidays with clarity and confidence.
If you want a safe space to explore your anxiety and learn practical tools, we are here to help.
Book a free 15-minute consultation to connect with a therapist at Tiny Therapy Collective.
